Stefanie Schneider polaroid

(no subject)

Livejournal, I am having a wild couple of days. My friends are putting on this show so I was like "Um, can I come help?" and Annie was like "sure, you can work the spotlight."

So I got a craigslist ride down to Sacramento on the fourth of July. It was fine. I mean, it was a little weird, because it was like four very normal dudes in a car with me. One dude was really into Ron Paul, another one was pretty stoked on Western swing dancing, and the third had more tattoos than me and didn't speak once the whole eight hours except to explain the difference between alligators and crocodiles. (He said it was about fresh water and salt water? The internet disagrees.) At one point one of the boys- the Ron Paul boy- said that money ruined everything and I was like "I feel so lucky that I stumbled into the anticapitalist craigslist ride" and everybody else winced like "uh, we are not anti-capitslists, per se." I am though! Fuckers!

Then I got to Sacramento at like eight thirty at night and called Aimee to see where she was and she was like "oh, I'm on my way out right now." I was like, "cool, did you know it takes like two hours" and she was like "yeah" so I was like "rad, I guess I will sit in a doorway for a few hours since it is the fourth of July and nothing is gonna be open." I was wrong though! I found a fancy coffee shop to sit in and listen to the new Die! Die! Die! album (which rules) on headphones and write a column for Maximum Rocknroll.

Hey livejournal, I know we haven't talked in a while. I started writing a column for Maximum Rocknroll. I was actually supposed to go over to the Maximum Rocknroll house tonight but I ended up in Oakland.

So anyway Aimee came quicker than I expected and picked me up and we talked some in the car and it was cool but I way underestimated how much gas cost so I gave her the rest of my money to cover gas for picking me up- well less than I should have, actually, she ended up losing money on the deal but I helped her find a warehouse to crash at for a few months so she was like "don't stress." ALSO while we were in the car I mentioned that I had to bum a shot from someone while I was in the bay because I haven't been able to afford to even go to the free clinic to get a new prescription and honestly I couldn't really afford a bottle at the moment, and she was like, "oh, I have spare vials, do you want a vial?" WHAT. YES. So she gave me a vial, which means I'm covered for hormones for the next few months. Wild!

The bay is fucking wooing me right now.

So I got in and she dropped me off at California Street in Oakland, when I was supposed to be at California Street in Berkeley, and then she had to come pick me back up and drive me up to Berkeley. But then when I got to Berkeley I saw Christine right away and we drank hella beers (she was like "do you know how to shotgun a beer" and I was like "probably" so she stuck a knife into the side of a beer for me, then made on for herself and another for a third person. They drank theirs and I poured mine on my shoe) and watched the fireworks and then the police made us go inside and we hung out and stayed up talking AND THEN the next morning I went into the bookstore with her.

This is the bookstore where I worked the whole time I lived in the bay. I was like "hey man can I pick up a couple shifts I am broke as hell" and Tim was like "sure" so I worked for a few hours, went into SF, did a run-through of the show, and then crashed at this wild squat where Geyl lives right now. It was pretty messy and gross in some ways but it was also totally beautiful, Red came over and we played with iPhones and ate burritos. Then I crashed on the couch and when I woke up Geyl made coffee and ravioli, which I couldn't finish so I put it in a jar and immediately started thinking of it as red potion from the Legend of Zelda.

Red was hoping to find something to wear in the show so Geyl and I walked over to meet her in the mission and we did some thrifting and Red didn't end up finding anything but I found the dress that I'm going to wear at every show on my band's upcoming week-and-a-half east coast tour, and also maybe every wedding this summer? It is like exactly the eighties prom dress I always want to find at the thrift store but I never do. I guess it's not a prom dress, exactly, just like a chill eightiesy formal dress and it cost FOUR DOLLARS. I was trying not to find anything to buy because I don't really have any money and also I was trying to be thrift store supporting instead of thrift store shopping, but what was I going to do.

So then the show happened and it was great and then Annah and Voula and Encian were like "do you want to come back to Oakland with us?" I had sort of half-planned to go over to the Maximum Rocknroll house because I want to kick it with those folks- my understanding is that Maximum is made up entirely of queer women right now; this could be inaccurate- but since I'm going into the book store hella early tomorrow morning I took the ride and now I am staying at Annah and Voula and Encian's beautiful house in North Oakland (or maybe Berkeley, maybe near Christine's house? I wasn't paying that much attention) where there is an empty bedroom with a mattress on the floor for me to sleep on and blankets and internet and a SHOW that I might get to take in the morning... it is pretty exciting.

I tried to call Alex, but I think she is at a birth right now. That was pretty much the only sad thing.

So this bubble might burst and maybe everything will turn terrible, but man, it has been almost unnerving how much amazing stuff has been happening to me in the last couple days. This shit rules and I vote yes for it. Thanks, the bay.

Oh also livejournal since we haven't been talking much lately you should probably know that I have a novel set to be published in early 2013. Somebody even made a goodreads page for it. Shit is wild. I don't even know.

(no subject)

I dreamed that a sociopath obsessed with Tyler Durden was ruining my life and trying to kill me- opening up gas leaks in my mom's house, that kind of stuff- so to get away from him I got in a car full of roller derby girls and went on tour with them.

(no subject)

All I want to do is listen to music that sounds like this and read things like this. Like I was listening to that song and went "whoa the lyrics go 'keep breathing/keep searching" and then I was like "I should get 'keep breathing' tattooed on one forearm and 'keep searching' on the other one" but then I was like, "wait, fuck searching, all this searching is making me feel exhausted and fucked up," so I thought maybe I should make "let go of searching, let go of breathing" into my motto, because, y'know, "stop breathing" is a shitty motto.

Maybe if I did a hundred tarot readings or meditated so hard I got unstuck in time?

Actually the problem is just that I'm broke which means I'm stressed about money pre-emptorily and then there are all these other things stressing me out on top of that like complicating each other at a geometric rate. How vague. To wit:

-clothes (I don't have a whole pair of jeans right now #SYNECHD)

It is basically a list of the most popular nouns.

Also there is a cardinal who keeps trying to get into the hallway window and Alex's window which makes me think maybe the cardinal isn't my omen but maybe since the hallway is a common area it isan omen for everyone. Bye
I hate everything

(no subject)

This thing keeps happening lately where, like, themes are immediately called back to me in conversation in ways that make me want never to interact with humans again. It's frustrating because I'd like not to be angry sometimes! Like, about a week ago, I was explaining to someone that I'm a little reluctant to try to get involved with the queer community here because I've been burned so many times in the past by clueless, unintentionally fucked up queer communities, and the person I was talking to responded with exactly the same kind of self-serving, marginalizing bullshit I had been trying to call out a single sentence earlier- while he was in my house, two days before my birthday. Or today, somebody I work with made a joke/allusion involving Michael Stipe, gay sex and AIDS, which made me feel less sad that he has already quit this job and will not be working here in a week- and then two hours later a customer bought a copy of Borrowed Time, by Paul Monette- this brutal, sad memoir about losing his partner to AIDs in the eighties- that has been sitting on the shelf for like five months, since I bought it for the store.

Thanks, universe, for keeping those lessons coming.

(no subject)

Man, I wish you could see the way it looks here right now, in all this moonlight. It's seriously amazing. Last night was the harvest moon, and also the equinox, which Alex said only happens once every twenty years or something, and it was just so bright I wanted to walk around all night, lounge on the dock listening to the waves and reading this Israel Regardie book of esoteric Qabbalah I'm all obsessed with right now. Alex came and hung out on the dock with me for a while, which was awesome. I don't know if you can picture it, but we've been staying in the barn on a chunk of property that's been in Alex's family for generations, up on the shore of a big ol' lake toward the top of a mountain in New Hampshire. The stupid leaves are just starting to turn and outside at night right now it looks like an episode of a TV show they filmed in the daytime and then stuck under a blue filter to pretend that it's night. I dunno, a photograph can't do it justice, and describing it isn't really getting at it, so you're just going to have to trust me that I wish you were here.

Also I got Pants a turtle costume today. Best ten bucks I ever spent. I'd show you a picture but they keep coming out too dark.

(no subject)

I am staying with a couple in their twenties and their four year old during September, in a little room in their house. I've been mostly coming and going at night, but today after work and interviewing a potential housemate (looking for houses and housemates and houses is hell) I came home when the four-year old was awake. He got super pumped to meet me, stormed into the room where I'm staying, and started showing me the features: the light switch, the lamp, my clothes, a guitar strap in a box next to a bag of syringes, my shoes, a cup of water I'd left on the floor the night before, the noisy air mattress inflater, my shoebox full of underwear. It's funny how that'd be really annoying if some ebullient or coked-out hipster did it, unless the hipster was four.

Burger King

Dude so today? I did a bad job of having any food in my belly, whatever, it happens. So I got all food panicky and went to the Burger King drive-through, because at the Burger King drive -through they have a veggie burger thing that I always used to get after triumphant Angela Chase shows. So I got one, okay, and it was awesome- like better than the ones on the west coast- but who cares, it was also from Burger King it was also gross. The POINT of my story is that this poor girl who was working in the drive-through, right, she opened the window to take my money and I thought at first she just had some big, badass and ostentatious, like, matching nose- and eyebrow rings the color of blue painter's tape. I was like, sweet, that is the kind of teenage decision that is awesome for its willfulness, not its aesthetic success! Then I realized that, actually, it just was blue painter's tape, covering what I assume were a normal nose ring and a normal eyebrow ring, because when you work at the Burger King drive-through you are maybe not allowed to have those things in your face? Poor kid. I hope she grows up, gets out of there and kills a bunch of people.